Breaking up is a hard thing to do, and most people think of the person who got broken up with as the most upset person from the situation, but that’s not always true. Breaking up is also hard on the person who does the breaking up. They had to gather the courage to admit that the relationship was not healthy and do something about it.
Sometimes the person who was broken up with does not see the unhealthy part of the relationship and doesn’t understand why the breakup really happened. Because they haven’t had time to deal with their feelings of possibly being separated they can be much more dramatic about the breakup than the person who actually did the breakup. So it’s no surprise that on top of the confused feelings of breaking up that guilt also plays a part in the whole package.
But you have to remember that you did the right thing. In fact, you would feel guiltier if you had stayed with someone who you were not happy with; guilty for yourself and what you have to live with and guilty that you want to break up. So realize that things would be much worse off, for the both of you, if you had stayed in the relationship.
First you would be unhappy and unsatisfied in the relationship. This is not where you really want to be is it? I doubt it. So you should be grateful that you have gotten through the hard part and allowed the both of you to continue on down a healthier path. Whether your ex chooses to take the healthy path or not is their choice, not yours. Don’t feel guilty if they head down a worse path.
Second you would be wasting precious time in this life. Staying in a relationship that doesn’t work is not productive to your life. It just causes moments wasted that could be used for better things.
A common thing that many people threaten is hurting themselves after a breakup. The chances of that happening are very slim, but it’s a great way to make someone feel so guilty that they take you back. Your job is to recognize that what they choose to do after the breakup is not your responsibility. Only you are your responsibility. And if you take the bait and get back together you will only end up in the same place you are now; broken up and feeling guilty.
The next common tactic to win you back is to make you feel like the break up was for no reason. No good reason at least. And if they are convincing enough they can make you wonder if you actually did break up for no real reasons whatsoever. This can be confusing and leave you feeling like a really bad person who did the wrong thing. But the truth is you had real reasons for the break up that meant something to you, and that’s what you have to remember. You have real reasons that mean something to you and that’s valid.
So don’t feel guilty anymore. You have no control over your ex and their decisions, but you do have control over yourself and your decisions. Decide to move forward with life and find a happier and healthier relationship.