He’s Just Not Into You Note From Editor

So you’ve been on a couple of dates with this guy who you’ve fallen head over heels for, or you’re trying to decide how he feels about you before you decide on how to feel about him. Everyone knows there are no hard and fast rules, but here are some tested and tried pointers:

1. The way he looks at you: Everyone knows the eyes are the windows to the soul. If a man is in love with you, no matter how hard he tries you’ll always see a light in his eyes when you walk into a room, or the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not looking.
2. He’s never brought you home: He knows that when his mother meets you, it becomes official.
3. You’ve never met his real friends: Close friends are like family, when he’s really interested in letting you into his life, you have to meet his friends-the closest ones that is.
4. All you have are his phone number and tickets: You have no idea where he lives, or where he works. If all you do is meet at movies, restaurants and friends houses, you could be dealing with an armed robber for all you know.
5. What’s your favourite colour? There is a level of intimacy that every couple must get to. He may not know your favourite colour, but he should know some intimate little details about you-and remember them if he’s really interested.
6. He’s always yapping about how awesome he is, and how lucky you are to have him: If he’s always talking about himself, and shows no interest in you, run sister, run!
7. The Ex factor: When he can’t stop bickering about his ex – good or bad, it’s a sign that he still has some emotional baggage he’s carrying and he’s not fully ready to move on.
8. He never compromises for you: When a man loves a woman, he’s always willing to bend over backwards for her. A man that can’t sacrifice or go out of his way for you is not worth your while.
9. He adds no value to you: A relationship should be complimentary, if you’ve not improved as a person since the day you met- you’re probably worse.
10. He always talks of here and now, never the future: That’s probably because he ain’t planning it with you in mind.
11. His eyes follow every hot girl that walks past: Need we say more?
12. He shows no special interest in your dreams, ambitions or career.
13. He seems distant every time you start a really intimate conversation: I know men are usually not on the same emotional frequency with women, but when he is particularly distant every time you talk about things that are important to you, that’s probably because he’s not interested in what’s important to you.
14. You’re the one who does the calling, texting and the birthday presents: Seriously? Even if you make more than he does, every man has his pride- especially when he’s in love.
15. He can’t wait to see you in your birthday suit: Most can’t, but if they like you enough they’ll respect your wishes about it and put some thought into how it happens.
16. He wants to marry a tall, slim and homely wife; You’re already bulky in the middle belt and your career is moving at jet speed…
17. He can’t stop mentioning your best friend every other minute in the conversation.
18. He does nothing to aid things along between you and his mom, when he knows very well that he won’t marry you without her blessing: Mom aside, you’ll know if a guy is in love with you when you see how his friends and family react to you.
19. There’s a feeling in your gut-not cold feet, real intuition- that you can’t shake off that he’s not the one.
20. There are no rules: This is hard to swallow but true. Some men are perfect pimps; they’ll play the game so well you won’t see anything amiss. So be careful, be discerning and listen to good advice from both friends and family and spiritual advisers if you can get it.