When it comes down to it, relationships do take work. But a relationship shouldn’t be a job. It should not be forced. Many people have come to accept that they have to endure the strain of a problematic relationship just to feel as though they are not alone. Being married or dating someone should be enjoyable. It should not be full of tears.
Improving your love life means either breaking up or resolving your problems. Dealing with conflicts is usually a good idea if your partner is willing to work with you to change your relationship. You can only work as hard on your relationship as your partner will.
Abuse should never be tolerated in any relationship. If you are abused, even verbally, you deserve so much more. If your partner belittles you, insults you, or makes you feel small, you should leave your relationship behind. It is not your partner’s job to punish you- they should support you no matter what you do.
When you have problems that are based on misunderstandings, you might not be spending enough time with your partner. Even if you spend six hours a day watching television together, you are not really together . You are lacking in the intimacy that makes it possible for two people to merge into one and see from each others’ eyes.
One of the best ways to increase understanding in a relationship is to ask a lot of questions. Do not assume you know what your partner is thinking. Ask them how they feel about any situation. When altering your patterns of communication, start small. Ask him or her about their day, or something they are really interested in. Once you find yourself fighting with your partner, take on a greater understanding of where the anger is coming from. You might be surprised at what you find.
Too many couples are stuck in the same self-destructive patterns because they have an illusion of what their relationship was in the past. You might have had a great honeymoon period, and you may have only been loyal to each other because you remember falling in love. But you need to find new reasons to love each other. Remembering why you fell in love is not enough. You can fall in love all over again.
People change. A relationship will turn into not just a job, but a struggle if it is not fortified to meet the changing needs of each partner. You need to change your expectations and understand that your partner is not the same person they were when you first met. But they are still brilliant, loving, and caring as they always were. It just takes acceptance and communication to find it in them again. They still need you to care for them.
When a relationship is giving you more grief than bliss, it might be time to consider how much regret you would feel if you wasted another minute on it. It can be hard to dismiss something that once felt so right, but you owe it to yourself to do what will make you truly happy.